Furious that I had to pay 5p for a carrier bag to take my new shoes home in. (What a badly stuctured sentence!) I questioned the assistant - although I am ever aware that they are just "obeying instructions", and would prefer to be out in the sunlight than serving people like me. "How does me paying 5p to you help the environment?", I asked. She told me that it discourages customers from asking for bags. Bags, I may add, that advertise the store name quite proudly. "And the box?", I asked, since the box she gave me the shoes in was the size you would use to convey a tortoise about. "Oh, the box is free," she said, airily. Remind me again how cardboard is made? Environment? Cashing in? It's laughable - and a tax on guilt. Memo to self: Never enter Brantano again.

Loved the two days of 5.30 am starts - so much more time for waffle-throwing, changing outfits, felt-tipping legs, and hiding car keys. I love those girls, but, boy! How did I bring up four children? I guess they just come into your life gradually, (not that gradually - the first two were only 13 months apart), and become your way of life. But, when you've had years of living alone, and loving it, it's madness when two little girls move in with their Angelina Ballerina trolley cases, special blankets, teddies and dummies, songs, dances, nappies, and behaviour that resembles that of small drunks, it's a wake up call. A remembrance call - ah, yes, I remember this: I know when to say yes or no, when to be tough, or give in.

And the equipment! I used to have striped nylon buggies from Mothercare. You just put a foot on a lever and - pop - it opened. It closed as easily. Now, the pushchairs are all 4 x 4's, and the mechanics of every damn thing from the pushchair to the car seat is like trying to erect 20 deckchairs on a windy beach,

I understood this weekend what my sister meant when she said that Primrose reminds her of me. She reminded me of me - always knowing what she wants, and going for it. As she tore a wooden train out of the hands of a huge boy in the little steam train park, I thought, "uh, oh - doesn't recognise danger or bigness. Bumpy ride ahead, Prim!"