I'm taking some annual leave from midday tomorrow. I dread the morning, and Boss suddenly realising that I won't be about for over a week. My holiday has been in the diary for weeks now, but I know he won't notice until I finally have to say, "But I won't be here tomorrow/next Tuesday/ or whatever day he starts to make plans for that inevitably include me.

BBHM and I are attending Bob's funeral on Friday. We visited him in the hospice at Cheltenham last Saturday week, and he died before we had even got home again. I was so taken aback when I saw him, even though I knew he wouldn't look well. Bob had always looked so immaculate, always in cashmere or linen, and it was shocking to see him lying motionless under the hospice sheets, his top denture missing, and his skin so grey. BBHM spoke to him, and kissed him. I said, "Goodbye Bob", and left the room. I just knew that he would never have wanted me to see him like that. I stood in the hospice corridor, and remembered all the laughter we had shared, and hoped that he was peaceful.

On Sunday, it is my niece's wedding in Brighton. One of those rare occasions when all my family will be in one place, and to be looked forward to.

And then, next week, BBHM is staying with me, and we will cook, and walk, and paint the front door, and do some gardening.

I hope Bob is in a good place now, and that we will laugh with him again one day.

Aaah. Such a strange time.

Strange.

I can't be bothered writing when I'm happy. Big Bad Handsome Man makes me so happy, that nothing else seems important.

There are a few other thoughts, but they will keep. Like anyone is interested, anyway.

The website guy was quite interesting. He is Dutch, and speaks English beautifully. I thanked him for cancelling his dental appointment to be with us, and he said, "It wasn't an appointment I had been looking forward to". Deadpan.

Boss was in and out of the office all day, but no big deal. He is off to London first thing tomorrow though, so I'll hold onto my hat from 8.30pm onwards!

Big Bad Handsome Man is back!!

I know I'm stubborn, and feel guilty that he always has to give in, and make a tremendous effort - but, he's the boy, and I'm the girl! Old fashioned, I guess.

He made a wonderful curry - as usual, enough for a small continent, and I will probably be eating it for the rest of my life.

This morning, I felt so animated, so lucky to be in love, to be loved, I don't think I heard a word anyone said to me. Like a dog, when their owner is chatting to them, I just heard, "blah blah blah walkies blah blah blah", and kept smiling. I only recognised words of import.

I am a very fortunate woman to love and be so in love at this time in my life. Hurrah!

Boss is in again tomorrow, having spent most of the week so far in London. He rang me from the train, asking me to get an IT guy in tomorrow for a website meeting. Yeah, no problem. It's 5pm, I'm sure everyone running website companies will be champing at the bit to come to meet us tomorrow. I was a bit disturbed when the first person I called actually was, and even changed his dental appointment to come in at 4pm tomorrow. To me, this is not a good sign....but Boss thought it was brilliant.

Let's see, shall we? Let's see.

My daughter has been awarded a grant from Inner Temple!!!!! She will be the best barrister in the land. I just know it, She will prosecute, and win. Having worked briefly with us in defence, she knew that she wanted to prosecute rather than defend, and she would like to specialise in prosecuting paedophiles.

Who wouldn't? Working in criminal defence, I have taken a shine to a few armed robbers, and murderers, but the paedophiles make me shudder. No: they actually make me sick.

I am so proud of her - a good, brave girl! Love her to bits. So, so proud.

Boss couldn't get back from London in time for his 3.30pm appointment. What? I was horrified, because this is a big case. "It's OK, Bridie," said Boss, "I'll be there by 5.30pm, and have told him to arrive at that time." Problem? "Erm", admitted Boss, "I don't seem to have any keys to the office".

No, I wasn't phased by the heat, or the fact that I had a 6pm date with a friend, "OK", I said, levelly, "I'll wait for you both". And, I did. I made tea (for client), and coffee (for Boss) and got to leave by 6.10pm. No big deal.

I would just like Boss to do what he is supposed to do when he is supposed to do it. But, in the beer garden, in the sunshine, I thought what the heck, and felt quite affectionate and sorry for Boss for having to rush all over the place.

Tomorrow, I have no doubt, I will change my mind. He will be abrasive and demanding, and I am trying to cope with six workmen and a virus on my PC.

I am so hungry, I think I might faint, but I forgot to shop again, so it will be a tomato sandwich. Happy days!

I love hearing from my eldest son. He is such a gentle person. I don't know, anymore, if that is the same as being a gentleman (probably forbidden under H & S rules). Surprised, and he was too, that he reckoned Blur so much at Glastonbury. He is a music editor, and was standing in a muddy field with a lot of other musical editors when the news of Michael Jackson's death came through.

No sockets for mobile phone chargers, and they were there to cover the festival, anyway. I sympathised with his frustration, but we laughed a lot about the whole coverage of the story. Likened it to Elvis - the naivete, the allowing of doctors and their "prescribed" drugs - we spoke of it all.

No, he didn't fall in love, and was quite tired.

I was, too. And, today! Well, when the lift broke down, my life was complete.