Boss rang me from the Gatwick Express train, cursing and fuming about the intercom announcements. "How many languages does she need to announce in that this is the Gatwick Express?", he roared over the sound of her voice, "Anyone who's on this train knows it's the Gatwick Express!!"

The upshot of this burst of fury was that he clean forgot what he had called me for. I don't know how many languages that female voice speaks in, but I am going to write to British Rail to suggest that they add quite a few more to the list.